Denial is the block

I am often asked why some problems just wont go away, or why we create the same thing over again even when we are trying to do things differently. The reason is always the same no matter what the issue is, denial. The effect of refusing to acknowedge an aspect or a behaviour in any situation will ensure that it continues.

While acknowledging a behaviour may cause some discomfort for a time this discomfort will pass and you can then move on into a different situation or rectify the one you are in. once you are open to the possibility your own actions were as significant in any life situation as anyone elses you are already on your way to resolving issues and creating a new way of living.

Denial is so powerful that it can prevent the intake of information on any level, how often have we seen someone struggling with something when the answer is obvious to everyone else, and yet no matter how you present the solution, the person continues in their struggle. It appears that they just aren't listening, well in essence they are not. However it would be more accurate to say they can't hear you, while denial is present they cannot process the information.

This is not about belief, you may have heard the saying you will see it when you believe it. This is about being open to possibilities and then accepting information as it becomes available, it is the refusal to accept the information that we don't want to know that leads to denial, and the longer you practice denial in certain areas the worse it becomes until you are deaf and blind to anything other than what you choose to accept.

Everyone denies reality at some point in their life, the way to minimize its impact or get rid of it completely is to start a practice of self awareness. This may lead to a cringe moment but is well worth it, have a think about any ongoing issues whether with one person or many over the years, especially situations that make you uncomfortable or angry. If you are in the habit of placing the fault on someone else then just suspend that for this excercise and focus on your own feeling, how long have you had this feeling?

As you focus on this feeling make an agreement with yourself that you will investigate this feeling and be open to whatever you need to know about it, if thoughts of others or blaming trends creep in, let them pass, you don't need those right now. Make the agreement with yourself that you are mature enough to accept the reality of the situation and the feelings.

Depending on the depth of the denial it could take a little while to get through to the aspect that needs healing within yourself, it may be a behaviour that you do not like within yourself, the feeling itself, or an ongoing response to an old situation that is altering your behaviour and creating new situations. The more you want to make the changes the more you will see and hear.

Taking denial and opening your self up to accepting who you are and being ready to make the changes that will allow you to be the person you are inside is a courageous thing to do and once undertaken usually has a powerful effect on your life, not just for a situation but in future you will be more aware of it, and more open to accepting those things that are real.